by Justin Fricke aka JustinTheWeekendWarrior
Disclaimer: This is meant to be some sort of a humorous manifesto of dating a surfer. These are only a few of the lessons learned and heard over the course of 15 years and should be taken with a grain of salt. I’m not singling women out either; these topics could easily be applied to men as well.
After surfing for 15 years, I’ve heard it time and time again. A girl saying “I want to date a surfer!” All she sees is the tan, muscles, and laid back lifestyle, but little does she know what actually goes into dating a surfer.
Ladies, here’s a glimpse of what you’d be getting yourself into if you choose to date a surfer.
Want to go to the beach?
When a surfer says this to you, you’re probably thinking that he wants to take you to the beach, pack a picnic lunch, and walk on the beach with you for miles picking up shells. Wrong! This is what he’s saying “the waves are supposed to be pumping and I want to go surfing. Do you want to come and watch me surf?
Let’s take pictures.
He’s not talking about taking cute selfies and putting them all over social media. He wants you to take pictures of him surfing.
Do you actually “love” the beach?
“I love the beach!” Ha! I’ve heard that one too many times before to actually believe that statement. That’s usually followed up with “except for that icky sand, it just gets everywhere.” I don’t get what’s wrong with the sand, Laird Hamilton has some sort of imitation sand for a floor in his house and that sounds ideal to me and most surfers. After that comes the “I just wish the sun wasn’t so bright or hot.” So you don’t like the sun–how about you try living in Ohio where the sun never shines and it’s always cold. One of my favorites is “and it’d be so much better if there wasn’t any wind.” It’d be a freakin’ oven if there wasn’t any wind! Last and certainly not least “the salt water just sticks to my skin and is annoying on the ride home.” Have you never thought about bringing some gallon jugs of fresh water to rinse off before the drive home?
If you’ve found yourself saying this quite a bit when you go to the beach, maybe the idea of loving the beach sounds great to you. And dating a surfer probably isn’t the best idea, since surfers practically live at the beach.
Make sure you’re a morning person
Fun fact: The waves are typically better in the morning with the calm winds. Naturally, surfers want to get out in the water as early as possible to beat the crowds and get some glassy waves before the waves get all textured from the wind. When he asks you if you want to Dawn Patrol with him, he’s asking you to get up well before sunrise and watch him surf as the sun’s coming up.
Don’t expect him to bring you coffee when he picks you up either. His mind’s on the waves.
How does alone time sound?
Because you’ll hardly ever see him at the beach. He’ll be gone for hours on end surfing and he’ll only come in when the waves start to fizzle out. When he does come in he’s usually asking for snacks and a beer.
How do frequent phone calls sound?
Frequent phone calls sound amazing, don’t they? Don’t be expecting that all the time from when you’re dating a surfer. When he’s home and that’s his style, that’s great. However, keep those frequent international surf trips in mind. International surf trips mean no cell service and sometimes no internet. There’s been times when I couldn’t reach home for four days. When you need constant contact with a dude, start looking elsewhere.
Do you like stories?
When you’re dating a surfer, you get to hear about all the stories. These stories usually involve some danger. You’re going to be the first to know about how we got wrecked on a huge wave and got beat up on the reef. Better yet, just wait until he tells you about the shark that surfaced three feet to his left. Just remember that when he tells you this stuff, he wants you to be concerned and make sure he’s OK, but it’s no point in trying to get him to stop surfing. That’s like asking a cow to stop eating grass.
Now ladies, don’t let these “rules” freak you out. If this all sounds like fun to you or at least doable, then you might be one of the few that can make a relationship work with a surfer boy. Know that it’s completely OK if none of this is you or sounds appealing to you, there’s plenty of other fish in the sea. Might I suggest setting your sights on a hipster, I hear coffee shops are a great place to meet those types of guys AND you might even be able to score yourselves one of those fancy drinks that I can’t pronounce.